Tan Time Reflections.

As I lay outside, I can't help but be totally relaxed while enjoying God's beautiful creation. I spend a lot of time out here thinking, praying, AND getting a tan... (hehe). So many times I've sat out here and questioned God's who, what, when, where, and how for my life. It's so important that I talk to God constantly or I will start getting extremely overwhelmed. Satan will creep in and make me doubt that God even cares about my life. I'm sure that most of you reading can relate to the struggle I have. That struggle is the future. The unknown. Not knowing how my life is gonna be later on down the road. A lot of people's advice may be: "go read some bible verses for some encouragement" Listen. That's easier said than done. No matter how many times you may read a verse, you have to believe it in your heart for it to have any kind of effect on you.
     In your early twenties, you start wondering things like "Am I everrrr going to get married" "Will I everrrr have kids" "Will I everrrr get the job that I've been dreaming of since I was 5". As far as the marriage thing goes...I don't doubt that it will ever happen for me. I just question whether it will be with someone that I sincerely, truly love and that I didn't settle for, just because I wanted to get married and not be single anymore. And from there, I'm afraid I will have kids with this man that I won't really be in love with. Children can pick up on these things. You can't fake love y'all. I want to be so in love with the person who I share my life with. Think about it. You have to be around this person ALOT. lol It's not like having a relationship where every time you have a fight, you take time apart so you can give each other "space". To be honest that scares me. Knowing that they only way out is......gulp...divorce. And that is way too complicated. And God hates it. That's why I want to make sure I marry the man who God picked out for me. Does he only pick one??? I don't think so. I believe he gives us options and it's up to us to choose(free will), but I also believe he has one that is considered the "best". Young and old married couples I've talked to always have the same answer. They knew he or she was God's best. That God made that other person specifically for them. Which is why I think it is silly to continue going out with or dating someone you have absolutely no chemistry with. You know you don't see a future with them. But in the back of your mind...they meet all the requirements you look for. Christian. Has integrity. Kind....etc etc. So you convince yourself maybe over time something might develop, and you end up forcing yourself to make it work. God has to be all up in a relationship for it to be successful. I want to be reassured every day when I wake up next to a man, that God is the reason we are together. And I'm tired of Satan trying to convince me that I have to settle for every guy I meet. See...Satan wants you to be the farthest from God's will as possible. So being in a relationship with someone that isn't part of the "plan" makes him happy. He wants you to be disappointed and emotionally exhausted. This situation I just described can be totally flipped around though. You meet a guy who is so attractive and charming. Because of these traits, you overlook and accept things that you shouldn't. For example: he treats his mama like dirt, he cusses, he drinks, he does drugs, he's gets angry over the littlest things......he says he loves God, but the way he lives his life doesn't show it one bit. Granted people can change. But I really believe God will change a person BEFORE he gives them to you. That's not your responsibility to change them either. But you still think you can. And while trying to change the guy, he drags you down with him. I remember years ago when I was still in youth group, my youth pastor gave an example of what happens when two unequally yoked people get into a relationship together. Imagine you're standing on a chair. You are trying to pull the other person up with you. But it's hard. Almost impossible. The other person tries to pull you down.....easy. And I'm not just preaching to everyone else. I'm preaching to myself because I've been there. And been dragged down. And been out of God's will.

I've come to the conclusion, that if something is meant to be it will be. Having the husband, kids, and job that you want will happen. BUT in God's time. Not ours. Psalms 18:30 As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. Now it's easy to understand that first part. But the second part of the verse....one word catches my attention. Purpose. I want my relationships, friendships, and job to have a purpose. So that's why I really believe (my opinion) that God gives us the desires of our hearts (Psalms 37:4) if it has a purpose and is aligned with his will and plans. Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and wait on God. Because......If we hope for what we do no see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance(Romans 8:25).

And lastly. We can rest in this.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)